It's a bright, sunny morning. Sultan(S) enters the air-conditioned chambers of SomeoneAcquireUs Inc. His manager(M) is there to greet him. A conversation ensues.
M: Welcome, S. Is this your first day at work?
S: Thank you. Yes, this is day #1.
M: Alright. Let me debrief you about the company and what our business model is.
S: Sure. Please go on. *feigns interest*
M: We at SomeoneAcquireUs Inc. derive revenue by leveraging all our assets and bandwidth towards providing business solutions to our customers. We serve enterprises and we build software which mitigates their risk and in turn guarantees more customers to us.
S: Uh, huh.
M: Our developer churn out out-of-the-box solutions on a pro-rata basis. The key is to remain proactive and with a open mind when working on new technologies since our software turns legacy-code in a couple of months. Cobwebs are just not acceptable.
S: *nods and wonders what his pro-rata salary could be?*
M: You need to see the big picture and be a team player who hits base every time.
S: *wonders where the TT/Foosball/Carrom tables are*
M: Of course, when you build large scale software solutions, you need robustified umbrella processes to make sure your bug profile does not spike. It is only in a perfect world that such a thing never happens. We try to blamestorm all issues and come up with leakproof solutions to them.
S: *(dreamy eyes) coding is going to be so much fun*
M: Going forward, you'll get to know more about what we do and what we are. I'm going to send you a perf cheatsheet. I need you to give me a heads-up on what you can start working on ASAP. After all, planning and documentation are paramount while building complex systems.
S: *Yeah, right. And there are donkeys in Paraguay*
M: Oh, and welcome to SomeoneAcquireUse Inc!
S: *water, free coffee, free soft drinks, free T-shirts, free pens...*
Khuda Hafiz,
Sultan of Samarkand
Footnote-Disclaimer added in the AboutMe section.
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7 comments:
"Our developer churn out out-of-the-box solutions on a pro-rata basis." yeah, right! maybe, it's off-the-shelf solutions. I don't know, what do you say?
wait, whose the developer? no offense man.
dear sultan, it has been brought to my attention (by myself), and i have personally verified the details i wish to share, that according to a survey in 1996, the number of donkeys in paraguay had increased by almost 50% over the past couple of decades, hence rendering the current colloquial assumption about their lack thereof quite incorrect - politically, factually and in every other way imaginable and unimaginable (even by those with a very active imagination, may i add)
some preliminary calculations on my part have shed furthur light on the donkey situation in the country with a human population of 6-million : there are FORTY THOUISAND donkeys in paraguay.
FORTY THOUSAND, mr sultan. while it certainly is not in the millions, the presence of a donkey in your general vicinity is neither so shocking or so rare as to warrant its usage in a sense similar to what one might find use for, say a sabre tooth or a kiwi or some such.
you are hereby strongly advised AGAINST using meaningless and factually incorrect information to furthur your points, be that in speech, a form of writing or even in your fertilest imagination sequences.
we hope you will learn from this experience and become a better man for it. for furthur doubts, clarifications and support of any nature, on issues related or unrelated to the current one, please do not hesitate to contact the undersigned.
thank you.
have a nice day.
-> Badrinath "i r pwn u" S
GG@badri
@sultan ... he he he ... u are so pwned ... !!
:D
@neuron
off-the-shelf generally means products that have already been developed. No offense taken.
@badrinath.s
Those donkeys have been exported as they don't have a choice when it comes to beasts of burden, except the llama. Repeat after me, there are no donkeys in Paraguay!
@theanksden
Read the disclaimer. I would never work in such shitty jargon-dominated places.
@karanatiiit
:D
What should I call it ..
umm.. post inside a post .. umm .. recursive .. :P
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